The Stripping Nashville Firefighters

So my first personal appearance EVER is at the Southern Women’s Show in Nashville tonight. I busted my behind all day making a gazillion sample servings of Rice-A-Roni salad and Asian Chicken Lettuce Wraps. Shlep all the food and cooking implements down to the convention center and set up everything at the “celebrity” cooking stage.

I’m feeling pretty cocky about myself. I’d just done a radio interview that went pretty well. Then I find out, as I’m looking out at a sea of empty seats, that the Nashville Firefighters are conducting a strip-a-thon at the other end of the hall. I hear whoops from the rabid women watching the buff firemen strip down to I don’t know what because I’m at the other end of the hall. A few people who are obviously lost stray toward my demo area and wearily settle themselves into the chairs to rest.

I soldier on, talking about the virtues of grilling and what Hoisin sauce is and that you don’t actually have to grill these recipes, you can make them in your kitchen. Oh, Lord. I can’t believe the noise from those women at the other end of the hall. Then the public address system comes on, over my minuscule microphone, announced that Denise Jackson (Alan’s wife) has TEN MORE MINUTES TO SIGN HER NEW BOOK. Geez.

I limp through the rest of my presentation and go over to sign a few books. A little boy comes up to me and asks me if I’m famous. Not so much.

Tomorrow I’m back at the show for a presentation at 12:30. Maybe I’ll do it in a bikini.